Today was a hard ass day. Patty, my ex friend and ex coworker, is back and she just appeared this morning. No warning, nothing. It was deeply uncomfortable and disorienting. I tried to focus on letting myself feel how I felt but by the end of the day I was back to my hold mental habits.
I was really hoping she’d quit. However, do the awful employees ever quit?
It’s supposed to be extremely hot today so I’m not going to take the bus or light rail home. I have been more frivolous with money but I haven’t regretted taking a Lyft or an Uber yet. The only time I felt any semblance of regret was when I took a 30 dollar Lyft to a Laundromat where I spent another 30 dollars to activate a card that can only be used there. This Laundromat was nowhere near the closest to me. I wanted a “luxury” laundry experience after swearing off the racist Laundromat in my neighborhood. Well anyways, it was ok but not worth 90 dollars.
As for my fat loss journey, I wouldn’t be surprised if I gained back any progress I made in June. It wasn’t a very stable time for weight loss because I went from having no money to “having” a ton of money (I’ll have to pay it all back though but I’m using it as a now cushion idc).
Setting my intentions for July, I want to minimize eating out and maximize my time spent outside of my apartment. My goals for June were much more intense and that’s probably why they were unsuccessful. I’m actively working on changing my all or nothing thinking and wrangling my inner critic. Setting more realistic goals is a part of it. Speaking of, I won’t be able to go straight home from work. I meet with my therapist right at 3:30. I’ll go into one of the empty rooms.
It’s officially day 30 of my weight loss challenge. I will admit, it didn’t go as planned and I was tempted to just call tomorrow day 1. However, I said that I would reassess in July and tomorrow is July. I’m drinking a smoothie I made, I don’t know how many calories it is but I’m hoping its enough to curb cravings. I couldn’t find almonds last minute at Royal farms, only honied almonds so I used that in my smoothie.
Caffeine is a must and proper sleep is also a must. I have to leave for work soon so this will also be a short. I’m taking the light rail which will give me a 0.9 walk for the morning.
Pearlspeaks 